One Year Ago
THIS IS WHAT I WROTE YESTERDAY: SUNDAY 12TH NOVEMBER AT ABOUT 3 IN THE AFTERNOON.
Right now I’m sitting in my room and listening to Beyonce’s latest song: “Irreplaceable”. It’s about a woman whose boyfriend cheated on her and he actually told her that she could never find another man to replace him. So here she is telling him to get out of her house and she’s reminding him that it’s so easy for her to find another dude to love.
For me, the words mean something different altogether. Today is my late brother’s one year anniversary of death. He died today at about 2.57pm last year in the CWM hospital. The atmosphere in the house is one of solemn, quiet celebration. On one hand, we’re sad about his passing and really miss him but on the other, we’re happy that he’s in the one place where he always wanted to be – in Paradise worshipping at God’s feet. Me? I don’t know exactly what to feel.
I would say that Jese’s death was a pivotal moment in my life and also that in the lives of my parents and siblings. So much has happened in this one year and I know that there’s more to come. We’ve had people talk about us, practically bitching about us and might I add, a tad shameless too! But that never stopped mum and dad from moving forward in God’s grace. Something that my elder brothers’ said in their letters to mum and dad, in order for my big brother – Jone, to come back home, God needed to take Jese away.
Ever since Jese died, Jone’s returned to his family and he’s found love again in his high school sweetheart (Wati). It’s all a little corny but I believe that God meant for it to happen so my family could grow. Now we’re all so close, me to my big brother who I never knew for almost half my life, it’s like he never left to go to Sydney. Of course, now he’s back in Brisbane and I miss him like hell (Wati too I’m sure) and we all can’t wait for him to come back home for the holidays next January.
Last Friday at our youth meeting, we all shared a bit on how Jese became a role model for each of us. He was our Youth Leader last year and he was one of the best we’ve ever had. You can bet your hat that we fought a lot at home and in church but that was how we showed how much we loved each other. He would get angry with me for growing my hair too long he always wanted me to have my hair cut short. Oh how I miss our fights. Truly, I do!
This has been a weekend of reflections for me and everyone else in the house. It’s our prayer that God will keep us together through all the, pardon my French, SHIT we will face. I need to be honest, it’s not easy moving on from where my brother left off but God promised that he’d always be by my side and he’d never leave me alone.
Right now I’m sitting in my room and listening to Beyonce’s latest song: “Irreplaceable”. It’s about a woman whose boyfriend cheated on her and he actually told her that she could never find another man to replace him. So here she is telling him to get out of her house and she’s reminding him that it’s so easy for her to find another dude to love.
For me, the words mean something different altogether. Today is my late brother’s one year anniversary of death. He died today at about 2.57pm last year in the CWM hospital. The atmosphere in the house is one of solemn, quiet celebration. On one hand, we’re sad about his passing and really miss him but on the other, we’re happy that he’s in the one place where he always wanted to be – in Paradise worshipping at God’s feet. Me? I don’t know exactly what to feel.
I would say that Jese’s death was a pivotal moment in my life and also that in the lives of my parents and siblings. So much has happened in this one year and I know that there’s more to come. We’ve had people talk about us, practically bitching about us and might I add, a tad shameless too! But that never stopped mum and dad from moving forward in God’s grace. Something that my elder brothers’ said in their letters to mum and dad, in order for my big brother – Jone, to come back home, God needed to take Jese away.
Ever since Jese died, Jone’s returned to his family and he’s found love again in his high school sweetheart (Wati). It’s all a little corny but I believe that God meant for it to happen so my family could grow. Now we’re all so close, me to my big brother who I never knew for almost half my life, it’s like he never left to go to Sydney. Of course, now he’s back in Brisbane and I miss him like hell (Wati too I’m sure) and we all can’t wait for him to come back home for the holidays next January.
Last Friday at our youth meeting, we all shared a bit on how Jese became a role model for each of us. He was our Youth Leader last year and he was one of the best we’ve ever had. You can bet your hat that we fought a lot at home and in church but that was how we showed how much we loved each other. He would get angry with me for growing my hair too long he always wanted me to have my hair cut short. Oh how I miss our fights. Truly, I do!
This has been a weekend of reflections for me and everyone else in the house. It’s our prayer that God will keep us together through all the, pardon my French, SHIT we will face. I need to be honest, it’s not easy moving on from where my brother left off but God promised that he’d always be by my side and he’d never leave me alone.
posted by FALLENangel at
12:37 pm
1 Comments:
hello my beautiful cousin!
I miss you like crazy and i wonder what you are up to all the time.
I also wonder what Jese is up to! If i had met him i'd have a better idea but if he's anything like his brothers he's makin every dude and dudess in heaven SMILE!!
I look forward to hearing from you my babe! can't believe it's been 6 months since i met you!
Love Lauren Kate!
Post a Comment
<< Home